Evil man who beat my boss is supporting Manlove...

David Wallace, accepting an award for
devouring the souls of orphans.


So this very evil guy, David Wallace, is apparently backing John Manlove for congress. To put in another way, as our sister-site CD22 Watcher says:

"Wallace is still humming with Manlove."

Don't ask us what that means. Don't ask why we would choose such odd words. Because, and trust me on this one, you don't want to know. It hits too close to home. Let's just say our minds were preoccupied. It's post-modern homo-erotic humor, and if you don't get it, then just ignore our friends at CD22 Watcher when they start tapping their feet in the next stall.




In any case, this dude Wallace is evil. EVIL! Don't believe me? Then maybe you'll believe Greg Aydt, racist gasbag GOP elected official and author of the delightfully wacky hate-website Rhymes With Right. You see, somebody slipped Herr Aydt (pictured here in his rotund pasty brilliance) a portfolio of well researched dirt on Mr. Wallace, and boy it's so juicy!

Boils down to this: Mr. Wallace is a shady international arms dealer (duh!).... And the Republican Party does not need shady arms dealers. It needs hateful racists.

And I want you to know that nobody, and I mean nobody, has more racist friends than our friends at "Captain Dean Hrbacek's CD22 Watcher Fun Time Happy Blog". Not only do they proudly link to Big Racist Greg's hatesite, and to "ReligionOfPeace.com," a website run by a former president of the Aryan Nation, but they also brought us a recent report from a group called "Texas League of the South", which runs a spectacular and admirable hatesite that is devoted to preserving "the heritage" of Southern people.

This hatesite dispels some of the most insidious liberal myths - It proves how Abraham Lincoln was actually evil (not kidding!). It also decries how kids in school are not allowed to use the word "noose" to taunt black students (injustice!). It features awesome videos full of Confederate flags and pissed off fat men screaming about the "Subjugation of Dixie" (yee-haw!).

It also contains awesome speeches by League of the South leaders like President Michael Hill, who deliver super-cool sermons on White Power:

"It is time for us, as Southern whites, to look to our own well being and defense against these thugs.

"Moreover, it is time we demand that respectable members of the 'minority community' control their debased 'brothers and sisters.' If they refuse, then we can only believe that they secretly condone such behavior. Let us not flinch when our enemies call us 'racists'; rather, just reply with, 'So, what's your point?'"

Our crack research staff just discovered that this fantastic website is run by Homer Stokes, the real hero of O' Brother Where Art Thou:



Homer Stokes: Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered here, to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage! We aim to pull evil up by the root, before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage! And our women, let's not forget those ladies, y'all. Looking to us for protection! From darkies, from Jews, from papists, and from all those smart-ass folks say we come descended from monkeys!



With nine candidates in the race for Congress, each one will have a campaign with a unique strength. Shelley Gibbs has about month's experience as a Congresswoman. Pete Olson has suitcases full of money. Robert Talton has the meanest sneer. But when it comes to truly insane racism, nobody beats the grassroots team of Dean Hrbacek, led by Liz Mitton and a trio of woefully underskilled and clearly frustrated young Republican boys.

You can take it to the bank. But if you're an insane Dixie-singing coot like us, you probably keep your money under your mattress anyway.

Attention Nutjobs:

Please read the newly added disclaimers in this page's sidebar and at CD22 Watcher.

Recognize: These sites ain't illegal cuz I say so!

To repeat, because I know people who like Bruce Springsteen are dumb: These sites are not run by paid members of Dean Hrbacek's campaign staff. Only nutjobs say that. But if they are, then Dean Hrbacek is not responsible for the content of these pages.

Are we clear yet?

Oh yeah...And if Dean Hrbacek is responsible for the content of these pages, then... uh.... well.... uh.... "¿No habla Ingles?"

I need to dispel an ugly rumor...

Recently, a lot of folks have been talking about how they feel my blog, along with our sister-site, CD22 Watcher, are pieces of anonymous campaign advocacy written by staff of Dean Hrbacek. And since that would be illegal, I need to do something quickly to help quiet those claims.

Now true, the early posts were extremely Pro-Hrbacek (like this one and this one, for example), and others were extremely hostile to the other leading candidates (like this one and this one). But I bet if I post something relatively nice about one of the other lesser-known candidates, that will shut everyone up!

So here goes:

Jim Squier isn't the most horrible man on the planet. And he has a website. And unlike frontrunners Shelley Gibbs and Pete Olson, Squier is good Christian man who doesn't torture puppies or steal from the collection plate. Which is more than I can say for Gibbs or Olson.

And that's not the only positive words we have for other candidates. Robert Talton has a beautiful head of hair. And John Manlove has mostly given up his heroin habit.

See? We're as neutral as Switzerland.

As if we didn't already know .... Republicans think quite highly of themselves

Once again, those sharp cats at our sister site, CD22 Watcher, have their finger on the pulse of logical perfection. They stumbled onto a new Gallop Poll reporting that Republicans are significantly more likely than Democrats or independents to rate their own mental health as excellent. And because we self-report our mental health as great, it must be.


A young, and clearly sane, Republican


However, the CD22 Watcher crew must've been busy, because they didn't have time to tell you about all the other (rather obvious) findings in this study. For instance, Republicans are also significantly more likely than Democrats or independents to rate:

Their own appearance as "super hot."
Their own personal odor as "less than offensive."
Their own penis size as "gargantuan."
Their own personality as "not entirely obnoxious."
Their own housekeeper as "an American citizen."
Their own girlfriend as "existing."
Their own penchant for deviant practices as "mere rumors."



Furthermore, the study made these other key findings:

1. Drunken Montana fishermen are significantly more likely to self-report being abducted by UFO's. Therefore, Drunken Montana fisherman have been to outer space.

2. Bart Simpson is significantly more likely to self-report that he didn't do it. Therefore, he didn't do it.

3. Hitler is significantly more likely to self-report that he has no intention of invading Poland. Therefore, I can think he can be trusted.

4. Your mom is significantly more like to self-report that you are the most beautiful and talented child in the world. Therefore, you are the most unique and precious snowflake ever.

4. CD22 Watcher is significantly more likely to self-report that they have no connections to Dean Hrbacek. Therefore, it likely a dirty trick perpetrated by Pete Olson, Shelley Sekula Gibbs and the Democratic Party.


Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go self-report myself a Margarita...