David Wallace, accepting an award for
devouring the souls of orphans.
So this very evil guy, David Wallace, is apparently backing John Manlove for congress. To put in another way, as our sister-site CD22 Watcher says:
"Wallace is still humming with Manlove."
Don't ask us what that means. Don't ask why we would choose such odd words. Because, and trust me on this one, you don't want to know. It hits too close to home. Let's just say our minds were preoccupied. It's post-modern homo-erotic humor, and if you don't get it, then just ignore our friends at CD22 Watcher when they start tapping their feet in the next stall.
In any case, this dude Wallace is evil. EVIL! Don't believe me? Then maybe you'll believe Greg Aydt, racist gasbag GOP elected official and author of the delightfully wacky hate-website Rhymes With Right. You see, somebody slipped Herr Aydt (pictured here in his rotund pasty brilliance) a portfolio of well researched dirt on Mr. Wallace, and boy it's so juicy!
Boils down to this: Mr. Wallace is a shady international arms dealer (duh!).... And the Republican Party does not need shady arms dealers. It needs hateful racists.
And I want you to know that nobody, and I mean nobody, has more racist friends than our friends at "Captain Dean Hrbacek's CD22 Watcher Fun Time Happy Blog". Not only do they proudly link to Big Racist Greg's hatesite, and to "ReligionOfPeace.com," a website run by a former president of the Aryan Nation, but they also brought us a recent report from a group called "Texas League of the South", which runs a spectacular and admirable hatesite that is devoted to preserving "the heritage" of Southern people.
This hatesite dispels some of the most insidious liberal myths - It proves how Abraham Lincoln was actually evil (not kidding!). It also decries how kids in school are not allowed to use the word "noose" to taunt black students (injustice!). It features awesome videos full of Confederate flags and pissed off fat men screaming about the "Subjugation of Dixie" (yee-haw!).
It also contains awesome speeches by League of the South leaders like President Michael Hill, who deliver super-cool sermons on White Power:
"It is time for us, as Southern whites, to look to our own well being and defense against these thugs.
"Moreover, it is time we demand that respectable members of the 'minority community' control their debased 'brothers and sisters.' If they refuse, then we can only believe that they secretly condone such behavior. Let us not flinch when our enemies call us 'racists'; rather, just reply with, 'So, what's your point?'"
Our crack research staff just discovered that this fantastic website is run by Homer Stokes, the real hero of O' Brother Where Art Thou:
Homer Stokes: Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered here, to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage! We aim to pull evil up by the root, before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage! And our women, let's not forget those ladies, y'all. Looking to us for protection! From darkies, from Jews, from papists, and from all those smart-ass folks say we come descended from monkeys!
With nine candidates in the race for Congress, each one will have a campaign with a unique strength. Shelley Gibbs has about month's experience as a Congresswoman. Pete Olson has suitcases full of money. Robert Talton has the meanest sneer. But when it comes to truly insane racism, nobody beats the grassroots team of Dean Hrbacek, led by Liz Mitton and a trio of woefully underskilled and clearly frustrated young Republican boys.
You can take it to the bank. But if you're an insane Dixie-singing coot like us, you probably keep your money under your mattress anyway.