Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dean Hrbacek: Colossus Among Mice

We are proud to feature today a very special guest blogger from CD22 Watcher, a sister-site of ours. Today's blog author is either:

1. Liz Mitton, who does not understand how blog feeds or Google alerts work.

2. A trio of young and likely single GOP nerds, working for Dean Hrbacek, who borrowed Ms. Mitton's blogspot log-in to avoid legal issues by creating plausible deniability.

3. A combination of the two, plus an invisible unicorn that only Ms. Mitton can hear.

4. Another suitably grouchy Islamophobe with a poor command of HTML.


He walks with the stride of Achilles.

His chin recalls the perfectly chiseled white cliffs of Dover.

His voice causes the wicked to quake.

He is Dean Hrbacek, and his utter perfection stirs a deep ache in my heart, an unquenched hunger of thoughts unspoken, a hurricane of dizzy devotion.

Dean Hrbacek represents the soul of the Republican Party. Wait, no, scratch that. Dean Hrbacek IS the soul of the Republican Party. He is also the misappropriated sense of entitlement of the Republican Party. As the Party of Sexual Repression (POSR) prepares to enter a new decade, Hrbacek is ideal to take the helm here in CD22. Among a weak field of POSR's, Dean is the ultimate POSR to end all POSR's.

Oh, and in case you didn't hear, Dean got 40 people to state publicly that they thought he was awesome. Forty. That's a four with a zero after it. Take that Shelley Sekula Gibbs!

Even better than that, Dean is going to buy me a pony. He promised. He said that if I work really hard and trash talk all the other candidates, I'll get a pony. I'm planning on naming it Buttercup or Condoleeza. I made a chart that outlines Dean's plan:

Oh, and before I forget: Pete Olson smokes the crack cocaine.

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