As if we didn't already know .... Republicans think quite highly of themselves

Once again, those sharp cats at our sister site, CD22 Watcher, have their finger on the pulse of logical perfection. They stumbled onto a new Gallop Poll reporting that Republicans are significantly more likely than Democrats or independents to rate their own mental health as excellent. And because we self-report our mental health as great, it must be.


A young, and clearly sane, Republican


However, the CD22 Watcher crew must've been busy, because they didn't have time to tell you about all the other (rather obvious) findings in this study. For instance, Republicans are also significantly more likely than Democrats or independents to rate:

Their own appearance as "super hot."
Their own personal odor as "less than offensive."
Their own penis size as "gargantuan."
Their own personality as "not entirely obnoxious."
Their own housekeeper as "an American citizen."
Their own girlfriend as "existing."
Their own penchant for deviant practices as "mere rumors."



Furthermore, the study made these other key findings:

1. Drunken Montana fishermen are significantly more likely to self-report being abducted by UFO's. Therefore, Drunken Montana fisherman have been to outer space.

2. Bart Simpson is significantly more likely to self-report that he didn't do it. Therefore, he didn't do it.

3. Hitler is significantly more likely to self-report that he has no intention of invading Poland. Therefore, I can think he can be trusted.

4. Your mom is significantly more like to self-report that you are the most beautiful and talented child in the world. Therefore, you are the most unique and precious snowflake ever.

4. CD22 Watcher is significantly more likely to self-report that they have no connections to Dean Hrbacek. Therefore, it likely a dirty trick perpetrated by Pete Olson, Shelley Sekula Gibbs and the Democratic Party.


Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go self-report myself a Margarita...